Four AM Ramble?

I have a huge post coming all about Bugfest and Sydney and wonderful things that is almost four pages in Word so far, and it will be up within the next day or so, hopefully, but its four AM and I can’t sleep and I wanted to discuss something a little less substantial.

Since I’ve been here the conversations I’ve held have been very physically oriented. What I’ve seen, where I’ve been. It isn’t just the Australians eager to hear about American culture shock, it is my friends and family back home too. Everyone wants to know the Aussies I’ve met and the pictures I’ve taken.

There’s nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, I love it. I love seeing things, tasting things, smelling things, meeting people, experiencing things. The thing is that isn’t what this is about. That isn’t why I came to Australia.

Oh, I came to see the world, sure. But the best part by far has been the changes I’ve seen in myself. I’m happy here.

That isn’t to say that I wasn’t happy before, I was. I fully expect to be happy once I get back as well. It’s different though. I am filled constantly with the moments that were fleeting at Purdue. Those moments when you realize you are smiling for no reason at all other than the pure, simple joy of it all and the world seems ablaze with colors. The sights, smells, tastes, talks, smiles, jokes, and memories that are the foundation of us all and give credence to the idea of a soul, that is what I find here.

I’ve realized by going back over some of my blog entries it ends up being descriptions of what I’ve seen that pale in comparison to the actual seeing of the sights. That isn’t what I wanted at all. I wanted something that captured the souring elation I felt when standing in the Blue Mountains, the giddy feel of hugging a marsupial, the simplistic pleasure of cruising past the city glowing with color at night. The problem is words can’t capture those feelings. If I were to try I would fill pages upon pages with text that still would fall short of the mark. So I end up diluting it all, watering it down until it is a purely physical entity.

I’m not quite sure what the purpose of this post is. Just to put into words that I’m more now. More what, I’m not sure, but more.